A list of the reasons on why it is hard to be married to Americans, coming from a Brazilian point of view:
1. The cultural differences:
Many aspects of Brazilian and American cultures are different so having an intercultural relationship can be hard. Some Americans are not known to have a broad scope of knowledge of different cultures, so things can get a bit messy sometimes.
Having to explain most of my culture to my spouse is an opportunity to open his mind to new concepts, but it can be strenuous sometimes.
Different cultures also mean different expectations. Dating in Brazil, for example, is extremely different from dating in the US and therefore a lot of misunderstanding can happen in a relationship.
If you ever pretended to love Brazilian culture just to impress your fiancee or spouse (trust me, some Americans do) you may have to abide to their Brazilian behavior quirks now and then.
2. The Languages:
I want my kids to be bilingual, even multilingual, if they enjoy languages I want them to be polyglots. If you dislike when your spouse speaks to your child in Portuguese, well… you may be in trouble.
Your spouse will do that for sure. But, you may have to change your mind on this one as being bilingual can be a good thing for your children. Maybe you should try to learn a word or two in Portuguese as well?
3. The Sense of humor.
Most of the time I get my husband’s sense of humor, but there are other times when I have no idea why his joke was supposed to be funny or that he even made a joke. I know how weird this may sound…
Unfortunately, this happens to other multicultural couples as well. Brazilian sense of humor is different in many aspects, but it is hard for me to give you examples of this on paper.
4. The freedom:
Americans are more independent than Brazilians. Brazilians are very social creatures by nature and family is very important.
If you’re dating a Brazilian, you are expected to go around with them wherever they go, including to serious family functions (like his or her cousin’s wedding) even if you have just started dating.
Americans, on the other hand, expect each partner to have their own life, their own friends, and even their own social functions outside the relationship, like girls night out or a night out with the boys, for example.
In Brazil it is a different story so this is the number one complaint I have heard about being married to Americans in my many years of writing for this site.
It is difficult for us, Brazilians, to understand all this relationship freedom you want and need in a relationship.
Brazilians eat, for the most part, a healthy diet. When we move to the US we have to deal with trying new dishes, creating a menu that satisfies our taste buds, and also facing all the junk food availability and temptation.
When we get married, we have to find a balance between making our American spouses and our stomachs happy at the same time.
You see, we grew up with different types of foods, different food textures even! I have noticed that a lot, especially when it comes to dessert texture preferences.
It doesn’t help that most Americans tend to be very distrustful of any foreign food that is not Mexican, Italian or Chinese.
So it is up to Brazilian partners make you try new dishes, once that is done, it is easier to work on a viable menu for your intercultural home.
Is your partner Brazilian? Let us know the hardest parts of dating or living with Brazilians in the comments below.